In conventional kinship diagrams, we denote the relationship of marriage with a symbol like an double bar ( = ) or an underbar linking two people, usually a circle and a triangle. It seems to suggest that this relationship of affinity is something that can be approached objectively, as though it exists independently of the people in it. Kinship diagrams are so reassuring. In spite of differences among cultures, the wordless symbols of affinity imply that, with apologies to Gertrude Stein, a marriage is a marriage is a marriage.

Some recent reports: Barely half of all US adults are married (Cohn et al. 2011). The average age of the first marriage in the US has been approaching 30 gradually for many years. In the 1960s, an overwhelming majority of 20-somethings were married. In 2008, only about 26% were (Pew Research Center 2010). The same or similar trends are visible in Australian society too (Australian Bureau of Statistics 2010, Swallow 2010).

In many western countries, especially since the 1960s, the conventional wisdom has been that the traditional family is breaking down. This has been interpreted as both a good and a bad thing, but most people agreed that a loosening of traditional morality was the cause of these trends. International comparisons are striking here. While all societies have some rate of divorce, divorce is much more likely in some countries than others. Since 1970, Australia's divorce rate (the number of divorces in one year per 1000 people) has more than doubled while in the US, it has only increased slightly. In Belgium, it has tripled, while in Latvia and Estonia, divorces are less common than in 1970. While the age of first marriage has been rising in some countries, in many European countries, the average age of first marriage is well over 30. If tradition was being gradually eroded, then we would not expect to see such large differences.

Australian Bureau of Statistics. 2010. Year Book Australia, 2009-2010. Canberra: Australian Bureau of Statistics. http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/0/947114F16DC7D980CA25773700169C64?opendocument.

Cohn, D’Vera. 2011. “Barely Half of U.S. Adults Are Married – A Record Low.” Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/12/14/barely-half-of-u-s-adults-are-married-a-record-low/.

OECD. 2014. OECD Family Database. Paris: OECD. http://www.oecd.org/social/soc/oecdfamilydatabase.htm.

Pew Research Center. 2010. “The Decline of Marriage And Rise of New Families.” Pew Research Center’s Social & Demographic Trends Project. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families/.

Swallow, Julian. 2010. “Couples Rejecting Marriage for de Facto.” Australian Geographic. http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2010/09/couples-rejecting-marriage-for-de-facto.